10 Things Toddlers Do Just to Screw With You

Has your toddler ever asked for chicken sticks and then refused to eat them? I’m pretty sure my kid does tons of these things just to screw with me. Big time.

10. Refuses to get in the bathtub.  Then refuses to get out.

9. Holds a pose for as long as it takes me to almost take a picture and then immediately flee. 90% of the pictures we have taken in the past two years look like this:

Toddler Blur
To be fair it’s a pretty accurate representation of her.

8. Crying for whomever is not around and once she gets said person cries for someone else.

7. Hides her pacifier then asks for another one, repeating the process until she has the greatest paci stash of all time.  She’s no fool.  She knows she only gets them at bedtime.

6. Wakes up minutes after I have fallen asleep.  Wake up any other time the rest of the night, little girl, and I wouldn’t even care.  She must know that in those first few minutes after sleep has swept over me I am completely and udderly incoherent.  I am forced to groggily stumble around, fetch her a sip of water (because you can bet she will not go back to bed until she has it) and change her diaper, all the while drunkenly tripping on toys and falling into the walls.

5. Reorganizes.

Our toddler tipped over a case of water bottles and filled it with toys

Would you like some toys with your water?

No need to help.  I’m really great at losing things all on my own.

4. When my toddler decides it’s time for solitary play she completely ignores everyone else. That is until I answer the phone, pull out a book, or do some work on the computer. At this point she has nothing to do but sit in my lap and mess with whatever I am doing. She doesn’t seem to care if I am staring at the wall but balance my check book? Oh ho no!

Just because I am busy doing my own thing doesn’t mean you get to Mom.

3. Flitting around like a hummingbird, dancing, running, high-kick ninja jumping but when there is something two feet away she doesn’t feel like getting herself “Mommy do it.”  I don’t.  Yet she is nothing if not persistent.

2. Throwing both a tantrum–and her pacifier. Then sobbing because she doesn’t have it anymore.
And Finally…

The Number One Way My Toddler Likes to Screw With Me:

Stuff My Toddler Does to Screw With Me.  Refusing food she's requested.  Or anything else we have in the pantry.

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