Internet shopping has become the new norm for me. It’s appealing to me in so many ways.
- I can do it from my couch.
- I can do it from my phone.
- I can do it on my lunch break without leaving the office. Wait. Is that a downside? I should probably get out of the office during lunch to get some vitamin D. Or red vines.
- I could do it in my PJ’s. Or naked. Or jumping on the trampoline.
- I get exactly what I want dropped at my front door.
- I save money because I am willing to compare prices, wait for sales, and combine promos online whereas I absolutely will not under any circumstance do that in a real life store.
- And most importantly: I can stay out of the department stores. If I have to spend more than 10 minutes searching in a department store I go into a full blown PTSD (post-traumatic shopping) anxiety attack. You think I am joking? It’s the worst!
This year I found the perfect Christmas gift for Ryan on Amazon Prime. Great! Free shipping! Here’s the problem. Our account is attached to his email address. These means I have to intercept the confirmation email, the shipping email, the delivery itself and the delivery email. I have failed before. For two years running he has accidentally figured out his gift.
I vowed this year would be different. It was worth the risk and I was totally up for it. I slipped undetected into his account to intercept the first email. Right as I clicked BUY, the email popped up and the evidence was immediately fruit ninja-ed into oblivion. Awesome! One out of three. No problem right? I kept checking for the shipment email but it took a few days. Meanwhile I was staring to get agitated. The odds of success were getting worse. I caved and finally told him that if any amazon email landed in his inbox he was to delete it on sight.
And he did. But not before seeing the name of the book right there in the freaking subject line. Are you kidding me?!!
Christmas. Ruined. Dang you Amazon! Ryan still hasn’t stopped crying. Maybe next year I’ll just confiscate his electronic devices for a few days. I am sure he wont mind.